I don’t sleep well on a good night, so dealing with jet lag has not been easy. At two in the morning I am wide awake, I fall asleep around three, and then at seven I’m up again.
Within days of being here, I became congested and couldn’t smell a thing. It made sleeping even harder. Two nights ago, I finally was able to sleep at a decent hour. I even think I had a smile on my face.
I rarely dream but something jolted me from my sleep. I felt like I was being chased by a monster. I heard this noise that was unfamiliar to me. I sat up straight to orientate myself. It wasn’t coming from any of the boys, who were in a peaceful slumber.
I felt I was under attack, which was ludicrous. And I found the source. It was my cousin snoring! I could not believe that one person could emit such a treacherous auditory assault. I didn’t know whether to be mad or laugh. It was horrible.
The first thing I did was send my daughter a whatsapp message:
“I just want to say that if I really snore like you say I do, I am sorry.”
“Listen to this,” I told her.
Then sent her a voicenote. I knew she was not going to answer as it was two in the morning in Bermuda. She always claimed that I snored, but this…this took snoring to a whole nother level.
I looked at my sons incredulously as they slept.
“How in the hell can they sleep through this ****,” I say to myself.
At that moment my good friend, Leesh, sends me a message. I send her a voicenote.
Her response: “What is that?!”
Although I was annoyed, I burst out laughing. This was simply unreal to me. It takes a real woman to share sleeping space with a man who sounds like a wilder beast. A prize is well deserved indeed. But this is my cousin…I shouldn’t have to be submitted to this!!
An hour later, I receive another message from a friend asking if I caught up with my rest. I send her a recording.
“Ain’t no way that is a person!!” she exclaims.
By now I’m laughing through tears.
And I sat through this for four HOURS. I even had to leave the room and go down the hall in order to record my newscast (he could be heard under the door!!!).
I could not make this up if I tried.
I feel like I’m being punished for something I did in 2005. lol